Day 33-FINALLY HERE

I'm here at Bennington! I've now been here and settled in pretty much for about 5 hours, and I am absolutely exhausted, down to my bones. My eyes feel like they're swollen, I had a terrible headache, my back hurt from lugging around a heavy backpack, and then my friend and I spent an hour and a half lifting heavy stuff from storage. So my hands hurt and I have horrific blisters on my feet. UGGGH. I want to go to bed right now, but I need to do some last-minute things. My room's completely set up except for my clothes are in a giant pile on my floor.

Also, I guess there was shitton of water in the basement where all my storage was, because I opened one bag and my leather jacket was COVERED in mold. Completely disgusting. I have to figure out how to clean that. Fuuuuuck.

And I took a picture on a plane, which I will upload later. I am tired.

Day 32-Last minute details

I know this is a day late, technically, because I was busy Saturday and kinda forgot. But whatever. I'll sum shit up.

Did some last-minute shopping, was completely packed and ready to go, and ate WAY too much for dinner. Essentially, we went to this Mexican hole-in-the-wall restaurant that we all love. I ordered what I usually do (2 chimichangas and beans) and usually I can only eat one and then save the other one for lunch the next day. However, since I hadn't eaten the entire day coupled with the fact that I was leaving the next morning, I shoveled all of it in my mouth and ate it ALL. Which was a bad idea, as I felt really ill and ended up being sick later. Worst idea ever. I mean, it was delicious, but...at a price.

Anyhoo nothing much happened Saturday, besides relaxing at home and watching some Firefly.

Day 31-DONE WITH WORK

My work here is officially DONE. YES. I was really over those 12 to 14-hour days that were happening this last week.

Also, I've been hearing a shitton of stuff about the game Bioshock. So I'm downloading it on my computer, because 1) I rarely play computer games, and when I do it seems to be really old Zelda games and 2) it will be fun to have something relaxing to do besides schoowork.

I was told to go see Avatar in the theaters, not on a tv or computer screen. Ennnh. That involves money being spent, though! I've watched so many reviews of it (most of which point out all its flaws), I just don't know. From what I've heard, it's about the experience, not getting roped into the character development, or lack thereof. We'll have to see. Also I leave Sunday morning, so it'd have to be tomorrow if I did it.

Day 30-Facial Scrubadub

Found a 'recipe' for a facial scrub for people with dry and sensitive skin. Tried it and seems to have done a good job, so HOORAY. I'm bringing the rest with me so I can use it from time to time.

Other than that...nothing interesting. Last day of work tomorrow.

Day 29-New Coat and Queso

Got a new coat. It is black and much more 'fashionable' than the Michelin tire coat I already have. The latter is great when it's so cold your nipples freeze off, but this new one will be much more attractive, although not quite as warm. Also I got two dresses which are excellent and should be great in da summer.

In other news I made about 860 pancakes for dinner. They were, needless to say, delicious. Although, guess what? You guessed it! I'm hungry again. Have you ever tried the 'queso' stuff at Chili's? It's so good. Aaaand that's all I ever wanted right now.

Got my chamber orchestra concert tomorrow night. Hooray! They really kept me sane these last few months.

I'm essentially packed and ready to go. However, the thought of waking up at 4:30 am is not pleasing to me.

Day 27-Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Shut the fuck up

Almost done with all that crappy recording. Only 6 more to do (which comes to about 12 more hours), which is really exciting. Also tallied up my hours and I'm totally fine, so no worries there.

I am worried, however, that all I seem to want to eat are juicy fatty burgers, the ones that you take one bite and you feel your arteries clog, the ones where you're shitting colors you've never seen before, the ones that are SO bad but SO delicious and fill your soul with more joy than another human being ever has. Never had any burgers like that before? Well I pity you. For I have had burgers like this, and once you've had one you never forget the pure ecstasy.

This is why I could never be vegetarian for more than a week. Sorry, hippies.

In other news my friend is writing a chaconne and I have written jack shit. Where is my inspiration? Probably gone, since I feel not only untalented but also am forced to write things which I do not wish to write.

In OTHER news I have 3 huge bars of dark chocolate in my suitcase, ready to go with me to Vermont. Yes. Yessss. So excited.

Day 26-Samoas

As you can tell from the title, we got some Girl Scout cookies. I don't ever recall us discussing ordering them. Huh. Anyway I ate 5 samoas today, which if you don't know is a third of the box. Sooo. They'll be gone soon.

Also we have lots of frozen fruit (which I've become extremely fond of and enjoy more than fresh, because it's picked in its peak and then frozen and you don't have to fuck around with icky fruit that's supposedly 'fresh'). We gots blueberries and raspberries and peaches and strawberries and mangoes. Except I have this problem with mangoes. Their texture really, really bothers me. Like, I really hate it. So I can't eat them, at least not fresh. I guess I could make smoothies with them, but instead I just won't eat them.

I just spent a lot of time discussing fruit. This is pretty indicative of my personality. I love fruit too much.

In other news, I made up a song about one of our cats to the tune of "Silver Bells." It went something like "Fluffy kitty, puffy kitty, who-ose breath smells like fish..." Although I can't recall it all, needless to say it was fantastic and artistically daring.

Day 25-Packing

Got most of my packing done, which is good. I only have to check one bag, which is also good.

There has certainly been a shitton of snow around, which had better not pose a problem for my travels. Especially since my flight leaves at 8 am, so I'll be awake at like 5:30 to begin with. Soooooo I won't be in the mood for issues, if you know what I mean.

Today was pretty good, although I worked a lot. My mom was really generous and got me some new clothes. Also she had a huge credit at Macy's because of a mixup, so she let me use that too. It's weird because I have been used to paying for most of the stuff I want or need. I guess I'll have to love it while it lasts, because it sure won't for many more years haha!

Been watching a LOT of NewsRadio. Yesss.

Day 24-Working

I worked recording DATs to CDs for 7 straight hours today. Do I get some sort of medal? An award, maybe? Gold star?

At least a pat on the back, right?

Really boring work. What is nice though is that I get to watch/do other things while they're recording; I just have to be mindful of when each track is about to end.

I dunno, nothing interesting today. Made spaghetti and meat sauce. Got a picture of Barbra Streisand from "What's Up, Doc?" Other than that nothin'. Oh, I'm going to reread "The Hobbit."

Day 23-One Week

I'm leavin' in a little over a week! Looking forward to having an Ella party. My friend Corinne and I really love Ella Fitzgerald, and we will have a lovely Saturday night party, just we two, listening to Ella and eating freshly made crepes and perhaps sipping wine in my room. I mean, learning and stuff is cool, but I'm excited to see friends again. Aaahh.

Apparently there is Indian food in the fridge. I will consume much of it tomorrow for lunch.

Day 22-Neato

I talked for 3.5 hours on the phone last night with this awesome guy who lives in Bennington. I can totally tell we're going to be best buds. I'm pretty excited to meet him, because we've decided that it is our job to try to outdo the other in crassness. For example, he said something funny about rape, which is far enough, some might say. But then I immediately came around with, "Well, if they're not crying it's not rape. If they're not crying it means they're not truly internalizing the injustice I'm doing to them. Do you know what you do if that happens? You punch them in the face until they start crying." So you see he has met his match--he goes over the line, and I go further. We shall spar off each other and it shall be GREAT. He likes Monty Python but hasn't seen "A Bit of Fry and Laurie," so I will have to induct him into the society.

I have an "easy button" from Staples. I want to bring it back with me to school, but no matter where or how I pack it it goes off. "THAT was easy!" Embarrassing and stupid.

Day 21-Three Weeks!

Has it really been 3 weeks? Daaammmn. And I still haven't exhausted my facial possibilities.

I've been recording DAT's to CD's. Had a lot of problems at first, with the machine essentially eating the DAT's, but now everything seems to be working smoothly. I'm hellbound to get all of the DAT's recorded before I leave. At this point I have 15 left, and a week and a half to do it. I think it's possible.

Because the DAT's have to record in real time, that means that per DAT I have to hang out for over an hour while it plays, and just be aware when each 'track' ends so I can mark it on the CD. So I've been screwing around on the computer while I wait, watching videos and stumbling and such. I recently downloaded all four seasons of "A Bit of Fry and Laurie," and started watching some today. Except they distract me because they're so funny. So now I'm watching NewsRadio instead.

Day 20-Music

I've been composing a piece (right now for piano) under the tutelage of a professor these last few months, and I think it is only now that I have a completely clear and crystalline idea of what it will ultimately become. Strange that I should be wishing to pursue music and yet am searching for jobs as a receptionist, or a supervisor, or a food service worker. I'm wondering whether I wouldn't just rather play instead of compose; or rather, compose on the side instead of making it the first thing in my life. It's hard being me sometimes. Because I have lots and lots of varied interests, many of which are just as important to me as music, and I wonder sometimes. Would I be happy not doing music? Maybe. Probably. I'd prefer not to shut down all musical activities, but honestly I like other things. It's a weird phase I'm in. Right now I don't feel...talented enough. Or something. What if I went through all this schooling preparing myself for something I ultimately didn't end up doing? I dunno. Too many thoughts.

In other news, I really really want spaghetti.

Day 19-Jobses

I swear nothing interesting happened today, unless you count me looking for a job in Redwood City. Updated my resume and applied to a few places, but I need to still keep looking. Buuh. Wouldn't it be nice if you were just handed jobs whenever you needed them?

Also sorta finalized my travel plans for this summer. I'll have to physically buy the tickets and whatever next month, buuuut I'm thinking this summer is going to be SO fuckin' awesome.

In 12 days I go back to Bennington! Yesssss! Can't wait. Literally cannot wait.

Boy, I am so ready to just be working and living life, you know? Like, I'm really enjoying college and all that, but I am really excited for when I graduate, and go out to CA, and start living and working and being an adult. I just want to be self-sufficient. I hate relying on people--just want to be young and independent and awesome. 'Sgonna happen, bitches! Just gotta wait for it.

Day 18-Flatfoot

I have the flattest feet ever seen on a human. This is caused because my joints are so loose (in particular my ankles) that they 'roll' inwards towards the floor when I stand. I have an arch when I'm not putting weight on my feet, but as soon as I do my ankles roll. This obviously not only affects pressure put on my feet but also my knees and hips, because it pulls them out of proper alignment.

So.

Because my flat feet are not caused by a tendon and rather from my joints, surgery is not an option (apparently). The only thing I can do is use insoles in my shoes. But now I'm attempting to retrain my feet so that when I stand I do have an arch. It's really hard to remember, because I have to actively pay attention to my feet and make sure my ankles are straight, but it will help my knees, hips and back a lot. Especially my knees.

This is me, happy my joints don't hurt.

Day 17-Peeping

There are birds in the house. Not like wild birds. They're supposed to be here because they're domesticated. Anyway the point is that there are 3 of them and they take turns either screaming or peeping all. day. long.

I wish I were deaf. Or that they had no vocal cords.

Worst headache possibly ever experienced by a human being ever.

Shitton of snow outside. Nice, but it means that outside is so blindingly bright that my retinas burned off. Also the light does nothing for my head.

Hey, as I'm writing this, literally every 3 seconds a bird peeps. Wonderful life, huh?

Day 16-Nrrrgk

I got like 4 hours of sleep last night. It was that fucking coffee from last night.

I did get a quick pic with a piano, though.

Day 15-Free Goddamn Coffee

So I went to go get some coffee before a rehearsal. And I ordered a medium (or GRANDE as they pretentiously call it) and then realized that I had no money. What. An. Idiot. I know. Anyway, I said, "Thank you but I just realized I have no money!" And the 'barista' said, "Do you want the coffee anyway?" And I said, "Well, no, that's ok, I don't have money," and he said "No, I'll just go ahead and make you one." SO I GOT FREE FUCKIN' COFFEE. So so awesome. Actually, in retrospect, it's probably because he was so stunned by my beauty and intoxicated by my pure raw sexual power that he felt a mammoth urge to impress me. I understand, it's a common response.

Tonight for dinner I had chicken w/ raspberry jam on it (good) and canned spinach (also good). I am such a weird person. Get to know me. In this picture though I'd already eaten the chicken, so unfortunately you can't see that. BUT you do get see the free coffee!

Day 14-Altar of Eden

I'm reading this new James Rollins book about genetic engineering called "Altar of Eden." Pretty good so far, but not grabbin' me by the balls like some of his others have. I dunno, it seems a lot like "The Black Order" as far as 'hey we're taking genetic engineering too far and creating superintelligent breeds of animals and OH WHOOPS looks like they got out and are eating people, so now we have to send out peeps to kill everyone who witnessed it and OH WHOOPS looks like some pretty smart scientists and ex-government officials got involved and are harder to kill than we thought oh shit.'

I think that sums it up pretty well.

Basically after reading "Blasphemy" by Douglas Preston (a group of crack scientists using the world's largest hadron supercollider discovers...God? OH MY) everything seems less awesome. I mean, like, the stuff I've read has been really really great, but "Blasphemy" was totally out there and incredible. Even though I suspected the ending. IT WAS SO GOOD. Shit blew my MIND. Oh yeah and then I read "The Machiavelli Covenant" and that blew my mind AGAIN.

I actually almost forgot to take a picture today so that's why it's just a blank wall--I'm just sitting in bed.

Day 13-Oh Em Gee Carbs

There's this film made about 15 years ago called "Kids." It is so, so, so horrific. Essentially it's about kids in NYC who are heavily involved with drugs, alcohol and sex, and the chronicle of their lives. One of the main characters has AIDS but doesn't know it, and is going around deflowering young virgin girls. There are gang fights, rape of a sleeping girl, drunken parties, creepily graphic sex scenes (wouldn't mind but the people involved can't be over 14 years old)...*shudder* I mean, it's a startling but necessary view into the life of a lot of young kids in the city, but the graphic nature of the movie makes it not that enjoyable. I'm sorry, but I don't really want to see two 13-year-olds having painful sex and see parties with even younger kids indulging in heavy drugs and alcohol. I don't know why I thought of this movie just now (I saw it over a year ago), but...just so y'all know. If it sounds abhorrent don't watch it.

Lady Gaga is 5'1"! What the fuck? I know, I had no idea either! That is so lovely.

I can't wait to head back to school, embarrassingly because I just really want to set up my room. Sometimes I'm a 40-year-old homemaker.

Erm...I don't really have too much interesting things to say today. I had the strangest dinner, though--spiced refried beans and apricots and milk. Like seriously. That's what I had. GROOOOSSSS

Day 12-No Coffee!

So I had ordered 3 pounds of different coffee for $3 from Gevalia, and I was pretty psyched to try them out. HOWEVER. However. Apparently since my parents had an account with Gevalia and I ordered it to their house, it didn't go through because it's only for new accounts. SHIT.

Ok, so you know that song "Tik Tok"? Of course you do. So...at first I hated it. But now...I kinda like it a lot, even though I still find it a little annoying. It grew on me in an unhealthy way, like a fungus on a warm moist log. Gah.

Oh, I got that watch finally. It's beautiful and fits! Great. I'd show you but it doesn't show up well on my computer's camera.

My friend's dog died. I'm so very very sad.

Here I am in front of the best lamp ever, although it's not mine: the original model of the USS Enterprise. Soooo jealous.

Day 11-CTFxC

So I went to go get a new watch today. My old one was fine and functional and I liked it, BUT one of the pins that holds the links together had fallen out, so it was unwearable for awhile. Then I had this brilliant idea of sewing the links together with thread, and so I did that and it worked really well, although it looked really dumb. Maybe. BUT. That thread broke the other day, and I decided I should probably stop screwing with the old one and just buy a new one. I went and picked a new one out, but because my wrists are so small they had to take out a bunch of links. Apparently the watch is harder to break apart than a bank vault, and they worked on it for an hour and still couldn't get it. So now I have to wait a few days until they can figure it out. Although I'm sure they're qualified people, I would not be surprised if I could figure it out in 10 minutes. Then again, maybe not.

If you don't know about Internet Killed Television (or CTFxC), you should check them out on YouTube. It's this guy and his fiancee and their two dogs who do vlogs every day. Many are boring, but the people are kinda cool and their dogs are hilarious. The videos are fun, and the guy is seriously cute.

As you can see behind me, there are "The Illiad" and "The Odyssey." Two books which we may or may not have been forced to read excerpts of in high school. Aaaand then never read again.

Day 10-CHOCOLATE

I haven't really had any sort of sweet food for a few months, with the exception of a handful of chocolate chips once in awhile. I've stopped making myself cookies and crepes because, well, I'm just too lazy. Also the ingredients aren't even officially mine, so I was using up those. But my point is that I have been craving chocolate and ice cream for about a week and a half now, like super a lot. I finally got two giant bars of dark chocolate today! I will try not to consume them immediately.

I have the song "I Like to Tinker" by Susan Walker (who is really Liam Sullivan) in my head. Check it out, as long as you're not opposed to covert lesbian humor: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qG2F1h5FHsU

Seems like I make a lot of plans that don't work out. I think I'm setting goals that are far too high, kinda setting myself up for failure. I'll have to try to be more reasonable. I'm not good with going with the flow as far as my future is concerned; I like to plan. But since it's lookin' like grad school for me, I think that study abroad's going out the window and I need to start saving for after I graduate. After all, it's not just the school I'll have to pay for, but a home, a car...blech. I'm so ready to do this, but just lack the MONEYS. Bush, I blame you for all my economic problems.

Day 9-Elevatah

Today I was sitting with some friends of someone I know at Butler, and they decided that it would be liek omg so hilarious if I pretended to have a New York accent when some new people stopped by. So I did, and one girl said, "HEY are you from New York?!?!?" And I said, "Yes." And she said, "OH MY GOD I love that accent aallalalaallaerwearoasdlmvnaserrng!"

That is not a paraphrase. That's what she actually said.

Sooo I convinced some dumb bitch that I was actually from New York. Obviously I'm doing great things with my life. What are YOU doing?

Also I had a ridiculously long discussion about the GIRTH of my friend's penis. We have come to the consensus that it is not only LARGE and VERY STATELY, but also goes by the name "The Rocket of Eternal Pleasure." This is all true. He is also 5'11". Maybe. He was very guarded about his height. Jerk.

Here I am with the self-same friend (of the extraordinarily giant penis, if you recall) in an elevator.

Day 8-Someone Else's House

I had spaghetti today, and it was all I ever wanted. Hooray.

There's this one turn going to the place that I rehearse at that's marked when you go in that way, but NOT when you exit that way. Consequently I miss it every time I go. GAH.

Had a pretty good life lesson learning session this week. I have lived and learned and matured and although this was a hard and quite frankly stupid thing to have to learn, I did learn it and that is that. More knowledge for the ol' noggin. Sometimes it really seems like even if you tell me why I shouldn't do something, it doesn't hit home quite as hard as if I did it myself and found it out. Frustrating, I know. I worry about myself.

I took a picture of myself in someone else's bathroom. I thought their bathroom would be furnished, but it seriously only had a toilet, a sink and a towel. Oh, and soap too. So, my point is that it's not an interesting place to have taken a picture in. But I did it anyway. For YOU.

Day 7-PB&J...again

Did a lot of job searching today, and came up with some possibles to look into. I just really really don't want to work in the food business again--whether that be cooking it, serving it, cleaning it up or whatever. You know, I'd be so happy being a receptionist: I'm friendly, patient, efficient and I like doing filing. So where the hell are all the receptionist jobs? Also it SUCKS that no one wants to hire someone for 3 months. I mean, I understand why they don't, but from my perspective it's super shitty not to be able to make money while not in school. Lounging about doing nothing makes me irritable and mopey and frustrated. I don't want a repeat of last summer (to fill you in: it BLEW).

Got my evaluations from my teachers (if I were a douche I would say my prof evals) and they basically all said "fap fap Emma's amazing fap fap we're in love and getting married." And I would be surprised by this, except that I AM actually amazing and have come to expect this response in others. Wouldn't it be nice to get paid for being so great, though?

I made a triple decker pb&j again. It's pretty much what I'm eating aside from cereal. Wow, that's a lot of carbs. If I gave an iota of a shit about stuff like that I might be worried.

Day 6-C'est le bel art

So you know those stupid games you can play on Facebook? There's like 4 million of them: Farmville, Cakeville, Methville, Bitchesnhoesville, CommunistRussiaville...in that last one you make veiled threats to the other players and rush to develop science and technology before they do. Each and every one of these games is just as stupid as the last. HOWEVER. However. I've become addicted to two of them: Petville and Fishville. I don't spend all day messing around on them, but for some reason they have spoken to me in a deep and personal way, such like I've never been spoken to before. But even though I have become roped into the retarded nature of these games, I implore you to not get involved. Please, good people, keep thine soul pure and virgin, untouched by the lecherous hands of Facebook games!

In other news, I really really want a Manwich. Huh.

Also today I watched some new videos from Liam Sullivan. If you don't know who this is, he's the guy who came up with Kelly and the "Shoes" song. But he does other stuff than that, and most of it is hilarious! I recommend checking his site out (I have it listed under sites I'm into) and watching some stuff. In particular I loved the "Dr. Ulee--Sex Therapist" vid. So...go watch that shit.

Here I am observing some high art, much like one would see at an exclusive gallery somewhere in Paris. It's a framed poster of cake and coffee and grapes that we got at Target, I believe.

Day 5-Fuckin' BIGAH

I've got this thing that's you plug into your ipod that's supposed to let you play it on a blank radio station, or something, but it's not working. I've tried looking up directions for it, but maybe the make/model/whatever isn't out anymore, because I can't find them. I just want so badly to play my shit in my car! Is that so much to ask?

I spent much of my morning on the phone. In fact, it was how I started my day: some bitch called and woke me the fuck up. I don't know about you, but I'm not only not very pleasant when woken up that way but also my cognitive and motor skills are not too great. I almost broke my foot going for the phone. Maybe not, but still.

I can't quite express just how STOKED i am to be in California this summer. I'll be staying with my uncle and playing with an orchestra, but I need to get a paying position for it to totally rock. I like doing stuff but I prefer doing stuff while huge wads of money are going into my bank account. You know.

I am standing in front of some salad dressing, because everyone knows that if you've got a big bowl of shit if you drown it in salty snotty herbs it'll taste better. Also there is a jar of what appears to be jelly.

Day 4-In Cars

Today I got some cups and in an unrelated event drank some really thick juice. I think it was one of those 800-vitamins, pro-biotic, gluten-free, antioxidant-rich, AIDS-curing drinks. Like, after you drink it you might be able to voluntarily cure illnesses and grow new organs. Not gonna lie, it tasted alright but the texture was like if someone took a banana in their hand and then squeezed it and then put it in your mouth.

Anyway here I am in a car. I drive those sometimes, although usually nowhere interesting. Seeing as I'll most likely be spending a lot of my time in California, I think I want to drive out there.

In other news, being an extremely social extrovert is hard when you're stuck alone for weeks on end. HOWEVER instead of dwelling on this we should instead just look at this goddamn awesome picture.

Fun update: due to some really really weird shit going down tonight, I have ended up with 3 kinds of coffee and a "natural" makeup kit, as well as a $25 gift card. Huh.

Day 3-Squeaker Clean

Wow, you caught me getting out of the shower! Ha! Except my hair is miraculously dry. I am some sort of wizard. Of course this wasn't staged.

I was told not to use this particular version of this picture because it made me "look like I had put on a ton of weight." However, even though my arm looks mammoth-sized it was funnier overall, and I flush my self-respect down the toilet for the sake of comedy. I AM A MARTYR

In other news I only got about 4.5 hours of sleep last night so I've been achey and kinda "WARRARRH" all day. My life so far has been an endless parade of dumbass videos and sleep. I've got a pretty awesome idea in the works, but I'm still perfecting it. Suffice to say it will be 1)awesome 2) hilarious and 3) educational. By themselves these qualities are good but together they form an impenetrable force to be reckoned with.

Day 2-BU

Here I sit with the incredibly life-like sculpture of a bulldog named Blue on Butler's campus. What. a. stupid fucking name for a dog. "But it's the school colurz hurrrr!" I don't care. Your school's mascot is one of the dumbest goddamn dogs alive. It's by the grace of God that it can even clean its own ass.

Day 1, kinda

I started this blog 2 days after I officially started Project 365: FACE, so I have to post a couple the same day, I guess. I originally was doing all this on my Facebook wall but then decided that was stupid. Whatever

Anyway, here i am in my kitchen in Indianapolis with Clarence. For those of you single ladies out there, Clarence is a recent graduate from UCLA (BA Philosophy) and is a fun-loving guy who likes hiking, watching CSI and eating sushi! So send him an email or some shit.