Day 20-Music

I've been composing a piece (right now for piano) under the tutelage of a professor these last few months, and I think it is only now that I have a completely clear and crystalline idea of what it will ultimately become. Strange that I should be wishing to pursue music and yet am searching for jobs as a receptionist, or a supervisor, or a food service worker. I'm wondering whether I wouldn't just rather play instead of compose; or rather, compose on the side instead of making it the first thing in my life. It's hard being me sometimes. Because I have lots and lots of varied interests, many of which are just as important to me as music, and I wonder sometimes. Would I be happy not doing music? Maybe. Probably. I'd prefer not to shut down all musical activities, but honestly I like other things. It's a weird phase I'm in. Right now I don't feel...talented enough. Or something. What if I went through all this schooling preparing myself for something I ultimately didn't end up doing? I dunno. Too many thoughts.

In other news, I really really want spaghetti.